Racial Anxiety: You look hard enough, you’ll find it

Imagine a life of social anxiety that is mild enough that you can still operate normally but debilitating enough to affect you. Imagine a life of constant validation seeking for your irrational thoughts and feelings. Imagine a life of searching for something that may not even be there. You wait day after day for that example that explains this constant unnerving feeling. We all want to feel legitimized in our emotions. The black ideology that is accepted tells us that there is a racist ghost in the room of American society, you just cannot see it during the daytime. You turn on the television waiting for that news story of someone that happens to look like you or maybe they remind you of someone that you love. You look for misdeeds when they are misunderstandings. You establish sensitivities in areas that should not be sensitive. You feel people are dismissing you because of your skin color but you are so deep in your anxiety that you cannot see they are rejecting your thought process. You expect people to care about how you feel as much as you care, and this is unrealistic. You force narratives that they must stop overlooking your race but then react negatively when they bring up your race.

If you look hard enough, you will always find what you seek. If you think someone is spiting you as a black person, then you will find it. If you lower your racial social anxiety, you will realize that no one cares enough to hate you daily. Too many people are trying to live their life to have animosity towards you. The hate you perceive is the hate that you established. The black ideology wants us to have this narcissism that there are people among us that cannot wait to settle some scores, when in reality, no one cares that much about you. You refuse to live your life because the ideology has been at the wheel of your mind’s vehicle, you were just an asleep passenger this whole time.

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